i heart-with-a-slash-through-it tiffany

No one else I know has ever complained about customer service at Tiffany. Maybe every time before I walk in, unbeknownst to me, someone slaps a sign saying "Ghetto Biyatch, Do Not Approach" on my forehead. I really can't think why else I would get consistently bad CS there. I don't dress like crap, I'm very polite, and although it shouldn't matter, I usually don't go in unless I'm wearing jewelry that is tasteful and noticeable - usually something from the very store I'm entering. I haven't dropped megabucks at the Ala Moana store but the amount of money I've spent (and that have been spent there on my behalf) since I developed a taste for the "Return To" and Elsa Peretti collections is about two grand. I realize that this is a paltry drop in the bucket they keep in the janitor's closet, but it's not peanuts to me, as I don't and likely never will be a six-figure gal.

The few pieces I own are much loved - so loved that pieces that would, by traditional consideration, be considered inappropriate to keep, I haven't parted with. My collection is modest in size and item cost, but I love everything: Toggle heart tag necklace and matching heart tag bracelet (gifts), Elsa eternity circle pendant (graduation gift), 1837 silver ring (V-Day Gift - Love, Me!), 1837 silver lock ring (2006 V-Day /"I'll-never-be-anyone's" gift to me, Love, Me!), heart tag screwball keychain (bridesmaid gift from Bonnie), apple bookmark ("You survived the pageant!" gift from family friends). Most recent purchase: a "Return To" heart tag pendant hanging from a loopable, rather bohemian silver chain. (Love, Me.) Liked it, couldn't justify it, returned it. Life goes on.

Anyway, this entry is about how much I love Tiffany jewelry and deplore Tiffany employees. Side note: The 30 total minutes I've spent visiting Harry Winston's diamonds shortly after it opened in Ala Moana were more enjoyable than the hours I've spent contemplating actual purchases at Tiffany. Especially the time I waited three decades for the diamond lady to decide to talk to me - she took such a long time peeking out of the back room and going back in, never saying a word, that I figured I probably didn't look like I was worth helping, commission-wise, and when she finally comes out (because I refuse to go away), what's the first thing she shows me? A $41,000 engagement ring featuring a rock the size of Jupiter, which she plunks down on the glass with a smirk and a "Do you like this one?" ... So I put it on. I mean, I didn't want to be a waste of her time or anything.

Another time, I was looking at some stuff in the front of the store, where two male employees were discussing football. They never stopped discussing football. I left. The only other place I've experienced such blatantly bad customer service was CompUSA, where I needed to buy a digital camera and get back into town within the next 45 minutes and was so desperate that I would have spent up to $500 on absolute crap - but fortunately because NONE of the photo employees would stop chatting with each other to help me, I saved myself from spending $500 on crap and ended up spending about $200 on a decent CyberShot. Pulled a guy from a totally different area of the store and asked him for help. Just like I wish I could bring a guy from Harry Winston into Tiffany so I could get courteous and speedy service when browsing jewelry.

Why do I feel more at home in a store where the employees know just by looking at me that I'm walking out empty-handed, than in a store where I've made actual purchases?

I know that no one in Tiffany gives a fig whether I spend my usual $300 a year in their store, ever again. I guess that's good for both of us. God knows how much money I'd spend if I actually felt welcome there.